We all know what the anger is and all of us have been through it weather as an annoyance or in a full explosive rage. Before starting the technique on how to control Anger let’s find out your Anger Style/Behavior. There are few styles of Anger a) Explosive b) Self-Abuse c) Avoidance d) Sarcasm e) Slow Aggressive & f) Habituate Irritation.
Let’s see which one of them you love much. 🙂
- Explosive: All of sudden due to small issue your minds get burst, your pressure rises to its top, your heart starts pounding vigorously and you won’t see who is near to you and start shouting. Yes that’s explosive anger. You can’t stand a simple issue that irritates you and you want to take sudden action.
- Self-Abuse: “It’s my fault I did it.” Whatever the issue is you will make it your problem and start abusing yourself for the mistake. “If I weren’t there, it won’t happen.” “If she had called me I wouldn’t have acted this way it’s my fault.” These kind of anger is example of self-abuse.
- Avoidance: “it’s ok, it’s fine.” You are saying with slight smile but the fire is burning in your heart. You want to show the anger but you are avoiding it by simply saying it’s ok. You want to override your anger.
- Sarcasm: “Wow you did a great job, due to you my boss threw me out.” Followed by smile. You believe that expressing negative emotions directly isn’t ok and you will try to go through indirect route. If someone gets mad and it’s not your fault because you were just kidding. Can’t they take a joke
- Slow Aggressive: All of sudden without knowing your system crashed and you have got important data on it. Oh shit now you remember it was important and you can’t get it back. You will feel the tension building but somewhere around you will find anger. You can’t do anything it’s the computer whom you can’t blame. What is the option now? The Option is you will be angry, Frustrated and let it go you know very well that you can’t do anything except throwing your computer in bin and which you don’t want to do.
- Habituate Irritation: “I can’t type email for you every time I have lot of my work to do.” “I can’t do this every time, why can’t he do?” “Why you borrow my pen every time, why don’t you get your own.” You feel irritate when it cross a limit. It’s easy to cross limit when you are in hard situation and you will come up with Habituate Irritation.
So let’s jump on how to control anger before it controls you . These are few ways to control your anger
- Relaxation: Simply take deep breathe, drink cold water and close your eyes or lay back and think your loved ones (if they are not the reason of your anger). There are lots of technique in internet you can find how to train yourself periodically for relaxation to control you anger before it controls you.
- Solution: Find a solution of your problem besides being angry and making it even worse. You should know problems are always a part of life and if problem arises think about its solution. You know very well shouting and fighting never solve the problem it only harms you and harms the relation. Try to find the solution of the problem and deal with it.
- Wordings: Try to play with words. Never use f%$@#$%, never or always. Shit happens and it’s not the end of world. Use thoughtful, rational world than using rough and violent ones. The rough and violent wordings make your emotion stronger and leave you with anger. Don’t curse or make promises while being on these situation. Play well and be calm and take right step. Think that you are hard enough to deal with these issues.
- Better Communication: Never take any fast and random decision while you face the problem. Think of it of course and communicate with your supporters. Deal with the reason which makes you angry. Communicate with people tell them what you don’t like when they do it? Give them options come to the solutions. Always communicate with smooth and polite sounds. Never use violent words use rational and polite words. Everyone understand the polite words easily.
- Other Steps: Beside the above there are other few steps that you can do to manage your anger.
Avoidance: Avoid the things, people that makes you angry or due to which you become angry. Try not to deal or deal simple as a professional.
Timing: Make sure if you are irritate of something don’t be in discussion of any type. That timing wouldn’t be good just take a nap, drink coffee, drink cold water, eat snacks etc.
Replacement: Think of replacement. If you are angry with your car replace it, if you are angry with traffic change the route and if it’s the only route change your timings. If you are frustrated with your job change the job or change your way.
Hope these steps leave you with calm mind and stop anger. Live your life and Love your life you are the only creation created with love. If you have more ideas feel free to comment below. Till then be safe, unharmed and Anger less. 🙂